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« Fifty Shades of Abuse | Main | I have a voice - by Bethany Tavener (Re:verse) »

January 05, 2016


Annie Weatherly-Barton

Having known Martin for a number of years and "borrowed" his car and visited Martin & his lovely wife Sue at one of their "Orwellian" places, but never understood the pressure of such a life. Martin was always very proud of Sue and what she had achieved. Going into their manse was a great experience: "Come in sit down have a cuppa and chat around their dining room table." Our "short" visit turned into quite a long time whilst we all chewed the fat. I defy anyone to have worked as hard as he did for Frontier Youth Trust. Boy he had some energy. He was proud of his boys and talked about their achievements. Passionate about young people and committed to caring for them. Brilliant at computing before most people were. Explained to me about internet so clearly that I got it in one bite - no pun intended. Quite frankly, I just don't know how he did it all. I am really shocked by the treatment meted out to these wonderful guys.

Now I am "the wife" of the minister I can well understand what Martin is saying. Although I have been accepted as joint pastor and cook and bottle-washer and the rest by our lovely folk. Glad to say they never have said anything like that to me. The authorities of course has been a whole different ball game. When to step in a defend my husband from their judgement was hard but it never stopped me from having my say. I was "told off" for interfering and calling into question their "judgement" of us. Five years of torment for us both. Our governing body don't get "lives going pear shaped!" Real world stuff just doesn't make any sense to them. So we've had our trials. I still get the tag "Oh so you must be the pastor's wife!" I just take it on the chin. Too old now to care much. Steve and I talk about everything and anything down to what shoes to buy. We don't do the "obey" bit or the "submission" bit. We decide what is best between us. Our relationship is such that we talk it all through a usually agree. When you want the very best for your partner in "crime" well, "submission" doesn't come into it. I agree that the whole area of "submission" and "obey" smacks of abuse. I've seen it used in abusive ways. Went to a wedding a couple of years back where this item went even further: "Will you obey your husband and accept him as head of your home!" Blige me, I thought, and nearly fell off my chair in shock.

Well Martin and Sue, you have served well and worked so hard and a big slice of cake awaits you here anytime. Thanks for being great friends and brilliant couple. God bless you both. And as Mike would say: Nil desperandum carborundum!!!

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