Sophia Network

Sophia Network Update - December 2013

 

December is a special time of the year – I love advent! The expectation of what is to come and the idea of the importance of waiting.

We know that it can be a busy time but please take some time out of your Christmas preparations and have a read of our December update.

This month we have some great offerings for you:

• A Q & A with Gemma Wilson from No More Traffick. She shares how we can help to advocate on behalf of people at risk of being trafficked

• As  it is the UN's 16 Days of Activism to end violence against women and girls, Mandy Marshall writes an article on domestic violence and abuse. She also talks about how we can help to end this injustice in our world by helping men and women to work together.

• Hannah Fytche writes a follow up article to the one she wrote on advertising and self-image in women in March. This month she looks at how advertising can impact men and boys.

 

• A book review of Sarah Bessey’s new book Jesus Feminist - well worth a read - by Helen Forsythe. 

Following our very successful Equipping Event this September we are now planning our next one and really want your opinion. So can you please complete this very short survey asking questions about what we should cover at our Equipping Event in 2014.

And don't forget to look out for a special nativity offering from the Sophia Trustees around the 22 December.

All of us at Sophia Network would love to wish you all a very happy Christmas and a peaceful New Year.

Do get in touch with us through our website, tweet us or join our active Facebook community. It is always great to hear from you.

See you in the New Year.

God bless

Sharon

Co-founder of the Sophia Network

Q & A with Gemma Wilson, No More Traffik

Gemma  is the Development Manager for No More Traffik, a homegrown anti-trafficking NGO inNorthern Ireland. When she is not wearing her NMT hat or working on projects addressing the issues of pornography and prostitution, she loves dabbling in photography, strolling on beaches and, this month, enjoying gingerbread lattes. She is just back from the Stop The Traffick global gathering in Rio...

Tell us a bit about yourself Gemma...

I am 25 years old and live in Belfast. Though both of my parents are from NI, I grew up in Geneva where we lived for 17 years. I went to a French school and met people from all over the world as I grew up: I loved it! After secondary school I moved to Belfast to study at Queen’s for 3 years. I then popped over to Canterbury to do a PGCE and have been back in Belfast for just over two years now.

You have been recently appointed Development Manager of No More Traffik. Tell us a bit about the NMT story...

NMT started in January 2012 when two clothing designers interviewed Pete, one of my friends, about his experiences in working in Cambodia with child trafficking victims. They were shocked at what Pete told them and decided to do what they could in their own sphere, to make a difference. A flashmob was what they came up with: this happened in May 2012 alongside 20 other events run by 30 different organisations in Northern Ireland. Our aim was to raise awareness of the problem of human trafficking and we didn’t know where things would go from there…but in January 2013 we became a registered charity and in May 2013 held our second campaign.

There are a number of anti-trafficking charities in the UK like IJM and The A21 Campaign. What is different about NMT’s approach?

No More Traffik has a three-pronged approach. Firstly, we facilitate community activism which is awareness and victim-aid at a very local level: a campaign in Ballymena will be different to one in Derry and the 6 community groups we work with do a great job.

Secondly, we educate: this is both to ensure people know the signs of trafficking and how to report them; but also in a bid to prevent trafficking amongst vulnerable people in NI. We raise awareness in schools, churches, businesses and community contexts.

Finally we promote cultural change: awareness, education and legislation are key, but if we do not challenge the culture that condones trafficking (whether it be through the reach of pornography, the objectification of people in the media, poverty, or a host of other issues) we will have the same problem on our hands in years to come. We do this through partnering with various organisations working on some of the issues I mention above as well as being involved in wide-reaching cultural events, like Belfast Music Week (November) and running annual campaigns each Spring.

Many people think of sex work when human trafficking is mentioned. What are the different forms of modern day slavery happening in the UK right now?

Sex trafficking is the one we seem to be, as societies, drawn to the most. But there are other forms, which in fact are, in some places, more common. Forced labour or labour exploitation happens everywhere: men and women, adults and children who are given little or no rights in the workplace, no choice or agency, little or no pay, in many industries. Fishing, agriculture, fast food, car washing, garment production, street begging…all of these have been found to be linked to slavery in some way.

What are some of the myths about modern slavery that need to be debunked?

The stereotypes around victimhood are unhelpful: victims of trafficking are not all blonde 22-year-old Romanian women who are kept in city centre brothels. This prohibits victims who do not fit this stereotype from being identified, and makes people vulnerable, as they do not realise that they could be trafficked.

The myth also that the responsibility for the crime lies only with a trafficker is wrong; we are all complicit in the products we choose to use (that may involve slaves in their production), in turning a blind eye and in choosing not to be part of the solution to the problem.

The biggest myth though is that human trafficking is too dark, too messy or too big to be stopped. This isn’t true. There are very tangible ways in which it can be interrupted and eradicated. And tied in with that, people often believe the lie that they are too small, too insignificant or powerless to help. Everyone is needed.

Modern day slavery has been highlighted by Hollywood in big budget movies like Taken (2008). Do these movies benefit the cause by raising public consciousness or perpetuate myths?

Movies like Taken are often the first acquaintance people make with the topic of trafficking and I think that if they are teamed with local information and further research, they are useful. Of course, ‘Hollywood-type’ stories are not real; but Taken, for example, does include truth about the trajectory of a victim or tactics used by traffickers. If anti-trafficking NGOs take hold of the opportunities for further awareness and action that are presented through the popularity of these movies, then I’m all for them.

If someone really wanted to know more about the issue, what books would you recommend?

“Half the Sky” by Nick Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

“Escaping the Devil’s Bedroom” by Dawn Herzog Jewell

“Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery” by Eric Metaxas

Helen Keller once said ‘we can’t do everything but we can all do something.’ What are some of the simple things we can do to eradicate this injustice from the world?

1. Use your eyes. Learn to spot and report signs of trafficking.

2. Use your voice. Spread the word and raise awareness. As you do this, never stop learning and researching.

3. Raise funds for anti-trafficking work.

4. Get connected. Join a local anti-trafficking group and roll up your sleeves! We’d love to help get you plugged in: @NoMoreTraffik / http://www.facebook.com/NoMoreTraffik

Please tell us a story of hope, which has encouraged you...

She was studying nursing, having moved to the UK from Romania. She was walking along the street in North London when a car stopped and two armed men threw her into it. She was brought to Luton Airport where she boarded a plane to Galway in Ireland. And then she was forced into sex slavery. She was 20.

She was subject to constant beatings, received almost no food or drink, and was forced to service men 15 to 20 times a day in an Irish brothel. She was then trafficked around Ireland and sexually exploited – under threat, and for the financial profit of others. Each week, she came across 10 to 15 other women in the same situation.

Anna (not her real name) finally escaped in Belfast, with the help of a man she met in a brothel here. Once free, the trauma she had experienced led her to attempt to kill herself in Belfast Lough: “I wanted to go and never come back.”

But she didn’t. Anna is rebuilding her life with the help of a caring community around her and is both an inspiration and a reminder than things can change; that slavery can be abolished…in the life of one and in the lives of many.

Book Review: Jesus Feminist

This month, Helen Forsythe who is a writer and Girls' Brigade leader from NI reviews Sarah Besseys book - Jesus Feminist.  It has just been released...

What kind of images does the title conjure up for you? A passionate defence of the author's (and all women's) right to minister?  Perhaps you have a stereotype in your mind of what a 'feminist' looks like. With cards on the table and full honesty, I must admit that this book was not what I had pictured in my mind when I first read the title; it was more.  At the forefront of my mind, I had pictured a book focused on bible passages and interpretations, studies of the impact women can have as well as some examples of how women are being treated in the church and the world. Those elements are all there, but they are secondary to the two main aims: what does Jesus think of women and how do we respond to Him?

If you are looking for an academic, theological discussion on the issues of women, ministry and feminism, perhaps this is not the book for you.  It isn't a cold, scholarly interpretation, but rather a deeply personal and intimate account of Sarah Bessey's own journey.  It is written in the form of a conversation between author and reader. I have to admit that on reading the introduction, I was skeptical of the language and of the direction the book was heading but to my delight I was drawn in as the book went on.

At the heart of this book is the love of Jesus.  It is evident from the beginning that He is the first word, the last word and everything in between. Rather than concentrating solely on specific verses (although of course she does tackle the 'controversial' passages) Sarah takes a gospel-centred holistic approach, which she described as ‘living loved’. Far from encouraging readers to take notes to use in the next "woman & ministry" debate, she shifts the direction using confidence in Christ and in His love and plan for women to putting that confidence to work in kingdom building.  Whilst recognising the damage that may have been inflicted on readers and what she terms a 'critical spirit' in her own thinking, she invites us to move on, recognising our worth and value in Jesus, trusting in His plan and ultimately getting on with it!

Despite what people might misinterpret from the word 'feminist', this is not fodder for a lofty, angry debate.  It is not a book to be relegated to the 'women's ministry' shelf in your local Christian bookshelf. It is grounded in reality, looking honestly at the authors own life,  and the lives of ordinary women across generations who have been transformed by the love of God. 

It's an irresistible call to gospel-freedom, 'Jesus Feminism', for the sake of kingdom and what we are called to be.

16 Days of Action

This month we have an article from Mandy Marshall, Co-Director of Restored about some recent research she has been involved in and Restored's plan for 16 days of action to end violence against women and children. 

Survey and Submission

In a recent survey Restored conducted with Christianity Magazine, 16% of the 443 self-selected respondents thought that domestic violence took place because women don’t submit to their husband or partner. A further 5% were unsure. You may be shocked by this statistic. Sadly I am not. There is a host of myths and abuse surrounding the issue of violence against women, which led us at Restored earlier this year to release a video countering some of those myths. It can be viewed on our You Tube channel here.

Heart of Abuse

At the heart of domestic violence is the abuse of power and control; the desire to have control and power over another individual. It is rooted in inequality between men and women. Gender inequality fuels violence against women. It is a cause and consequence of violence against women. If we are to address the heart of abuse we must see hearts changed; abuse of power is deeply destructive and completely counter to the gospel of Christ. Jesus proclaimed freedom and lo
ve, the opposite of power and control. When we believe that power and control over another individual will bring us happiness we buy into a lie that has been sold to us in a toxic mixture of misinterpreted scripture, societal values and individuals sinful choices.

Action – 16 days

November 25 or White Ribbon Day saw the start of the 16 days of action to end violence against women. It runs up to Human Rights Day on 10 December.  During this time, governments release policies, make statements and charities, like Restored, aim to raise the profile of this issue. With 1 in 4 women in the UK suffering abuse in her lifetime (British Crime Survey, Home Office), there is no doubt that we must know someone who has suffered abuse, whether they have informed us or not. The statistics from the survey with Christianity Magazine demonstrate 40%  of women have seen intimidation tactics used in their relationship. This is abuse, yet some of the respondents in the survey didn’t think that it was abuse. It displays how important it is to know what a good, positive, life-giving and healthy relationship looks like so we can model this in our lives and churches.

Prayer - Walk a Mile

During the 16 days of action we are encouraging people to walk a mile and pray. Our ‘Prayer walk a mile for 16 days’ (see here) aims to highlight the on-going work on transforming relationships and ending violence against women. Focussing on different aspects of the work of the member organisations of Restored, we aim to provide an opportunity to practically take part in doing something positive for the 16 days, and get some exercise too! A mile typically takes 20 minutes to walk and could be built into the walk to work, lunchtime, the school run etc. Praying as you go.

First Man Standing

From the inception of Restored, we have made it our aim to be clear that we need men and women standing together to bring about an end to violence against women and to see a transformation in relationships. We often hear that violence against women is a ‘women’s issue’. We believe it is a men and women’s issue. In the words of Jan Ransom from Flame International: ‘it is the attitudes and actions of men that have to change if we are to see violence against women ended.’ We know that there are many good men who hate violence. First Man Standing provides men with a positive opportunity to make a stand to respect all women, challenge other men’s attitudes and actions and join in the cause with women to end violence against women. We want men to be good sons, brothers, mates, husbands, fathers, work colleagues, by respecting all women, modelling positive, healthy, life-giving relationships, alongside challenging the negative attitudes and actions of others that disrespect and violate women. Join First Man Standing here.

Organisational Modelling

At Restored we aim to model men and women working together to promote healthy, life-giving relationships alongside working together to end violence against women. We have two Co-Directors - one female and one male - who job share the Director role. We decided to set-up a gender-balanced Board of Trustees at the start, although as we have grown our Board, we are now actively seeking more men to join. We also have two under 25’s (one male, one female) trustees - giving them the opportunity to serve on a Board for the first time with the aim of investing in a younger generation of leaders. This, combined with international representation (one male, one female) and a survivor of violence, aims to ensure we have a balanced, yet challenging Board of Trustees that will keep us moving forward.

What action will you take?

During the 16 days, what action will you commit to take to end violence against women?

• You could visit Restored’s Look Again Exhibition at the International Salvation Army HQ in London, which runs until the 9 December (see here for more info ).
• Will you join us in the Prayer walk a mile?
• Will you decide to give regularly to Restored so we can reach more churches with our message.
• See a host of ideas of what you can do here.

Most of all DO something. Make sure you act during the 16 days.

You can follow us on Twitter @Rest0red and use the hashtag #InChurchesToo.

Like us on Facebook.

Resources, including a free pack for churches, are on our website. 

Self image & advertising: What about guys?

In Sophia Network, we are constantly looking at how we can encourage talent in young women. Hannah Fytche wrote an article for us a few months ago on advertising and self-image in women. Since that time Hannah has entered two writing competitions run by National Council for Women and Tearfund's Rhythms. We are pleased to say that she came first in her region in the 1st and came 5^th in the second. For the NCW she wrote an article answering the question: ‘If you could influence Government to take action on one issue to improve the lives of women and girls, what would it be?’ Hannah is 16 years old and clearly has a gift for writing about things that she is passionate about. So well done Hannah! This month she writes about how advertising can impact the self-esteem of men. 

In March 2013, I wrote an article about the effects of advertising and the media on the self-image of girls and women. But it is not all about girls. Guys have body-image issues too; a recent estimation suggests that 45% of Western men are dissatisfied with their body and how they look. For women, this figure is not that different at 55%, so it would be wrong to focus just on women when discussing this subject. In this 'sequel' article I am going to look at the effects of popular culture and advertising on men’s self-image, and hopefully illustrate that it is not just the girls that we should be concerned about.

As with advertising, self-image and women, men are presented with an 'ideal' image that they feel they must aspire to in order to be accepted. This 'perfect' body can be seen everywhere: in newspapers and magazines and on TV and the high street. One example of this is the Abercrombie and Fitch models which are there to entice people to buy their tiny-sized clothes. These models seem to be made up of unnatural muscle, with well-defined abs and arms to match, a hairless chest gleaming and dominating the picture. No wonder more guys are feeling negative about their own bodies; with this near-impossible goal it is easy to become discouraged and to begin to aim for the “perfect” body.

However, it is not just hairless chests and toned muscle that concern guys. Issues such as facial hair and body odour all contribute to body image and advertisers do their best to reinforce these fears of smelling bad or having unattractive facial hair. This leads to pressure and self-consciousness, resulting in guys feeling that they need to use these products to improve who they are. For example, this Lynx deodorant advert suggests that guys need to have a pocket-sized version of the after-shave to carry around with them to ensure that they smell good enough all the time. This will lead to constant concern about whether they smell bad or not, and this may give a knock to their confidence in some situations. The wording also adds a negative spin; the use of the words 'power' and 'bullet' reinforce the image of macho, strong masculinity, and from this we get the impression that to demonstrate this, you have to buy the deodorant advertised.

As well as advertising pressures, there are other factors that affect how guys view themselves, often beginning in childhood or teenage years. Peer pressure is often the root of these issues with groups of boys or teens competing to be the strongest, best or toughest. “Weak” boys or boys who lack a certain physical stature are often teased and so they look for ways to “rectify” this “failure” on their part.

While researching I came across an amusing advert that, although ridiculous, illustrates this point well. You can view this Dove Shampoo Advert here.

Even though this advert is meant to just use humour to sell a product, it gives a useful illustration of the dilemma guys can find themselves in. Here we have a man at work, who oddly has beautifully long, shiny hair. The man realises this as his colleague begins to ask him confused questions, so he instantly jumps up and runs off to use a more ‘manly’ shampoo to restore his hair to a socially acceptable form. Although I highly doubt that this actual situation will ever happen, we can see here the demands of social pressure on a man to have certain so called ‘manly’ characteristics, such as well-defined muscle.

Superheroes and sportsmen as role models also affect how guys view body-image. Sportsmen’s athletic physique and sporting success can charm boys with a goal to aim for. While this is a good thing, as athletes are healthy and fit people, the pressure to look or be like them can build up and become a part of the wider issue with self-image. This can lead to an unhealthy obsession with exercise. Sportsmen as role models can impact other areas of life as well: the use of drugs and steroids alongside the sport is not what we want young boys to imitate. An example of this is Lance Armstrong, the 7 times winner of the Tour de France who was banned for life for use of drugs. Actions such as this can give boys the wrong idea about what is right and acceptable.

Superheroes are also a 'role model' of sorts for young boys in particular, promoting an adrenaline-fuelled life full of action, adventure and often violence. Take Superman: from the very beginning of his existence he has been “faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound”. He has numerous super powers including super strength, speed, vision, hearing and intelligence, and although he is fictional with a skill set physically impossible to attain, it doesn’t stop young boys from looking at the image of strength, power and action and translating it into their own lives. This is especially true of his physical appearance; he is well-toned, strong and muscular, and for boys, this image can become a goal reinforced by the “Abercrombie and Fitch” style images they are confronted with later on in life.

One effect of this is seemingly very healthy: exercise. However, men in particular can become dependent on or addicted to exercise. Since the beginning of the decade, the number of men exercising has increased by 30%, and it has been noticed that “guys who are working out...are not doing it so much for their health, they’re doing it for the look. This leads to compulsive exercising, which can involve concern over calorie intake and anxiety about missed workouts. This exercise-obsessed generation of men may seem to be the fittest and healthiest yet, but really, under the surface, there are many more complex issues going on.

Linked to over-exercising is the use of steroids and drugs. Previously, I mentioned Lance Armstrong and his downfall caused by drug use. Many guys now follow in his footsteps-or bicycle tracks-and take steroids in the hope of becoming more muscular or achieving better performance. Steroids and Human Growth Hormone are now used more, and although they promise the 'perfect-looking' body, they have many harmful side effects, including nightmares, diabetes and heart trouble. Like with over-exercise, the use of steroids may seem like a good choice on the surface, but really, it is harmful and dangerous underneath.

Alongside sportsmen and superheroes are female models. The images of women in advertising can have an impact on the self-image of men: it has just emerged that it is not only male models that negatively impact men: it is female models as well. According to research by Jennifer Aubrey of the University of Missouri, men feel that 'they have to be attractive enough to be sexually appealing to women'. They try to aim for what they think women want, and they base these aims on the female models that populate our culture and who are the most common image of women that we see. The research exposed men to magazine spreads of 'objectified females', and the results showed that men felt more self-conscious after seeing these. Aubrey’s theory about this is that men feel that to be sexually or romantically involved with an attractive woman, they too have to become attractive.

This self-consciousness is just the beginning, the foundational effect of popular culture and media. It is foundational because from self-consciousness springs other problems; as men become more self- and image-conscious they look for ways to remove that feeling by trying to improve their body. I have mentioned a couple of these “solutions” already: exercise, sometimes linked with steroid use, and succumbing to the pressures of advertising. Another way that men may try to conform to the “ideal” is through watching what they eat, often leading to eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia. These conditions are often associated more with girls and women, but actually, 10% of anorexia nervosa cases and 15% of bulimia cases reported are men. As you are probably aware, both of these conditions are extremely damaging to both the body and the mind and can cause life long damage to a person.

So these are just some of the effects of advertising and media on men. We can see that guys have just as much pressure as women to become a certain type of person, which is only achievable by taking harmful and extreme measures. Is this really the attitude we want boys to grow up with?

We need to transform the thinking of our culture by beginning to create and project more positive and encouraging images to men. We need to make sure that they do not feel that they have to be as muscly as Superman or as photo-shopped as the guys from Abercrombie and Fitch. People (both men and women) need to be valued for who they are, and not how they measure up to the illusions of advertising and popular culture.

So what about you?

• As you walk down the high street or flick through a magazine, think about what ideas of “perfection” you are presented with.
• What do they say about the men in our world?
• Is this true?
• How do the adverts need to change?

 

Sources of information:

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/15160230/ns/health-mens_health/t/guys-have-body-issues-too/

http://m.phys.org/_news145189854.html

http://uk.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_150/163_better_living.html#ixzz2Yj1g9oaf

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Body_image_issues_for_men

Male Body Image | Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/spot/mbi1.html#ixzz2Yj47qKYh

Male Body Image | Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/spot/mbi2.html#ixzz2Yj4d2WmY

 

Sophia Network Update - November 2013

 
It is well and truly Autumn now and I love this season very much – the different colours of leaves and the season of dying in order that new life can come forth in the Spring. The fact that it looks like everything is dying off, but in reality there is a lot going on in the roots of the plants and trees gives us so much hope for our own lives and what God might want to bring forth from those difficult times and situations.

We have some interesting contributions for you this month:

• A book review of Kate Cooper's Band of Angels: The Forgotten World of Early Christian Women by Rachel Saxby.

• A Q & A with Professor Kate Cooper on her book Band of Angels – this is a great interview and helps us to understand why the Bible is read in the way it is by some people.

• A reflective article by Aline Simpson on her experience of going to Uganda on a short-term mission trip. Aline identifies issues around gender expectations in this country and tells the story of how she saw the women live their lives in very difficult situations.

• In 'Dear David, It is time for No More Page 3', Claire Rush tells us about how a group of young women in Girls’ Brigade England & Wales, inspired by the International Day of the Girl, decided to use their giftings and passion to add their voice to the national debate on the representation of women in the media.

Sophia Network Trustee Claire also featured on a BBC2 NI documentary about Isabella Tod on Sunday evening. Tod was an amazing woman of faith who changed the social landscape in Victorian Britain and Claire researched her for her PhD. You can access the programme on iPlayer until Sunday here.

Do let us know of stories that you are involved in of women advocating for issues around gender and equality, as we would love to feature them on the website in one of our monthly updates.

So, there is some really exciting reading for you this month. Enjoy!

Happy November everyone!

God bless

Sharon

Co-founder of Sophia Network

Book Review: Band of Angels

This month, Rachel Saxby who is a student at Cliff College reviews Kate Cooper’s book - Band Of Angels: The Forgotten World of Early Christian Women.

Over the past twelve months the importance of story telling has become increasingly apparent to me. Whether it be through realising the significant impact stories read to me as a child continue to have today, or through seeing similar narratives being repeated throughout fiction, and often history. These stories have the potential to inspire, transform, and challenge the status quo. In Cooper’s latest book, Band of Angels she explores the role of women in passing on gospel stories down the generations and across the globe.

Cooper begins by telling her own story, explaining how her mother spoke to her at the time of her grandmother’s death and how these stories helped prepare her for her own mother’s death years later. This illustration reminds the reader that the women discussed in the book were not only leaders and evangelists, but also wives, mothers and disciples. The holistic approach taken by Cooper brings a human touch to the history of the early Church. This humanity is vital when considering the role women played in passing on gospel messages before they were formally recorded. Cooper draws parallels between women in the Ancient Near East caring for both the young and elderly, and women today preforming the same roles. She highlights the unique position these women find themselves in, bridging the gap between the generations, being filled with knowledge and tradition, and having the means to pass it on.

Through identifying key areas in which women’s ministry has been glossed over Cooper examines the impact of the women who spread the gospel through business, home and church. These examples include the familiar names of Martha, Mary and Pricilla as well as lesser-known characters such as Chloe (1 Corinthians 1:10-11) and Thecla (an evangelist and heroine of the early Church). These women’s stories are presented and questioned by Cooper with inspirational messages portrayed. Chloe, Thecla and many more like them provide excellent Christian role models for young men and women, with lessons which could be learnt from their successes and failures. Band of Angels would provide an alternative starting point for home groups or youth groups interested in studying lesser-known characters from Scripture, providing details on the barriers they faced, and how they were overcome.

Reading Band of Angels has encouraged me to question whether the recent move towards accepting women into ordained ministry will change the role women have traditionally played in passing on the Christian message. Despite these changing roles Christian women today have similar challenges to those in their position 2000 years ago, but they also have many more opportunities.

Cooper’s study of women in the early Church portrays examples of strength, humility and faith. She provides young leaders with role models, which challenge each of us not to be content with just passing on stories, but to live lives, which create more stories, but also to recognise the inevitable challenges facing the Church today. We need to continually return to our fathers and mothers of the faith for guidance and wisdom.

 

Q & A with Professor Kate Cooper

This month we caught up with Kate Cooper, Professor of Ancient History at the University of Manchester, who has a recent book published called The Band of Angels: The Forgotten World of Early Christian Women. You can visit her website and follow her on Twitter (@kateantiquity).

Your new book explores the ‘forgotten’ women of early Christianity. Why do you think that they have been airbrushed from history?

It all comes down to a sad fact of human nature. People tend to commemorate the parts of history that reflect their own concerns. For 1500 years, the Christian memory-keepers were mostly male clerics and monks, and – bless them – they wrote histories that served the institutions they worked for. Human nature hasn’t changed, but the social landscape has. Now we are in a situation where many people – including the Pope! – believe that it’s time to sweep away a certain complacency that has distorted Christianity. Many of us want to know more about the invisible people – not the ones who were central to the power games of institutions. We want to hear more about the quiet people who let their lives be transformed by love, which is what Christianity at its best has always been about. That’s where the women come in – their stories speak to this new mood.

From your research, how prominent and integral was the role of women in the early church? How did this change over the first 500 years of Christianity?

From the very beginning, women were central. The story starts, of course, with Mary of Nazareth, and her unbelievably brave act of carrying an illegitimate child in a society where violating sexual codes could lead to a punishment of death by stoning. The New Testament shows women playing a central role in the group around Jesus, and this continues in the earliest churches, which were informal groups linked together by family and friendship networks. At the beginning there was no organized structure connecting them. Sometime in the second century, a faction began to argue that women should not play a leadership role – or at least that their role should be restricted. The anti-women faction was never entirely successful – well into the middle ages we see nuns and deaconesses doing wonderful things. But they received a major shot in the arm in the fourth century, when the Emperor Constantine decided to re-organize the churches and give the leaders a role in local government. Only men could serve in these re-styled leadership roles, since only men could be elected to public office under Roman custom. Women continued in the ancient role of deacon, and this could be quite a powerful role, but the changing role of priests and bishops created a new dynamic. It was a turning point.

Who do you think was the most influential woman in the ‘band of angels’ in the early church? Which female had the most formative influence over the rise of Christianity?

I’ve already mentioned Mary of Nazareth, but another figure who was terribly important was Mary Magdalene. The idea that she was a repentant prostitute is actually a medieval legend invented by Gregory the Great at the end of the sixth century. But the real Mary Magdalene was one of the disciples closest to Jesus. The second-century Gospel of Mary remembers an argument among the disciples about whether the Church should accept the teachings which Jesus gave to Mary in private, as a special sign of his faith in her. Naturally, the Apostle Peter was remembered as arguing that no one should believe a woman! Many people believe the Gospel of Mary was a heretical text, but it was never condemned as such – it seems simply to be an alternative point of view, from a period when Christianity was very diverse.

Why were women attracted to Christianity? What did it offer them that society and wider culture did not?

The early Christian emphasis on generosity of spirit was a rare and precious thing in an ancient patriarchal society. For women, it was inspiring to be part of a group that proclaimed that even the weakest member of the group had the same importance as the strongest. In ancient village communities, women had responsibility for children, the elderly, and the sick – how could they not love a teacher who valued this demanding and often thankless work?

Nowadays, many accuse Christianity of being a patriarchal religion. Do you think that this is a fair assumption after researching the roots of this religion?

Christianity came into the world in a Middle Eastern society that was obsessed with male honour, so it would be surprising if it carried no baggage as a result. But from the very beginning, Jesus preached the equality of all people. Some people aren’t aware that modern feminism is the brain-child of nineteenth-century Christian women who wanted to bring Christianity back to its core values – feminism has its roots in nineteenth-century Christian radicalism alongside the movement to abolish slavery. There have been inspiring and radical women in every century, and we need to hear more about them. It seems crazy to turn our back on the amazing tradition of women’s Christianity just because some powerful men in the movement have misbehaved – Christianity has not been the only movement in history to suffer from that particular problem.

Do you feel that your research supports the contemporary argument for women bishops in the Church of England?

Yes, because it shows that the arguments about male headship are not part of the core of Christianity – they come from a second phase, which lasted from the second to twelfth century, in which the medieval institutional structure emerged. But the male-orientated institutional take-over didn’t succeed in keeping women from playing a central role – it just meant that they received less recognition.

It also shows that the current feeling that the Church of England is out of touch with its membership is nothing new. Historically, the institution has often been out of touch with the values and needs of the faithful, so there always has to be a cycle of reform and renewal.

What were the challenges that you faced when writing this book?

The real difficulty was in writing beautifully, not boringly! Often, I had to read between the lines of the ancient writers, drawing on decades of study to see what a first- or second-century person was getting at. Sometimes that makes a huge difference. It’s not so difficult, if you’re a trained historian – it’s fascinating, like putting together the clues of a murder mystery. The real difficulty is in helping the reader to see what you see, without getting bogged down in the details. I had to write draft after draft!

We are fascinated by Chloe of Corinth who Paul mentioned in 1 Corinthians 1. How far is it acceptable to speculate about her, and her position, in the early church? Where are the barriers when expanding on Biblical texts?

She is a woman of mystery, isn’t she? When we meet an elusive figure like Chloe, we have to think hard. It’s not so much a matter of speculating as making sure we consider all the possibilities. Often, it’s refreshing to pay special attention to the possibility that seems most unlikely.  In the case of Chloe, there are two main possibilities. The apostle Paul says in his letter that some Christians ‘from Chloe’s household’ have been complaining about what is going on in Corinth. I really sounds as if Paul was angry with Chloe. He mentions her without sending a greeting and a word of praise, which would be quite an insult if she was the leader of a house-church. But it is also possible that Chloe wasn’t Christian at all – she was a woman of means, and the Christians in her household may actually have been her slaves – in ancient Greek talking about someone’s ‘household’ can be short-hand for the slaves they own. She was the owner of Paul’s friends, not the head of their church, then his talking about her behind her back is not nearly so insulting.

And lastly, which early Christian woman inspired you the most and why?

It has to be Thecla. According to a second-century legend, she was a thirteen-year-old girl who was inspired by the Apostle Paul’s preaching and decided to cut off her hair and dress as a young man in order to join his disciples. At first, Paul discouraged her, but she was so dedicated to the faith that she literally walked through fire to prove her devotion. The ancient tale of Paul and Thecla is really quite alarming – it goes on and on about the ordeals Thecla had to face to prove herself. Finally, at the end of the story, Paul sends her off on as a missionary on her own, charging her to ‘Go, and Preach the Word of God!’ Not only was Thecla incredibly plucky, but she was able to stand up to the Apostle Paul! It’s not certain that she actually existed, but she was a much-loved saint in the ancient churches, and she is still revered as one of the Apostles by the orthodox churches.

There is a raft of evidence to suggest that even in the most conservative families young women were routinely encouraged to follow Thecla’s example – more than one of the great early bishops had a sister named after her. I just love the fact that being a ‘good girl’ in early Christianity meant striking out on your own and talking back to male authority figures!

Band of Angels: The Forgotten World of Early Christian Women is published by Atlantic Books; for a reader’s guide and info about talks and events, visit Band of Angels on Facebook.

 

Reflections on gender roles in Uganda...

Over the past two summers I have had the privilege of visiting Uganda, in East Africa, where this summer saw an extended period of time staying in Kampala. A team of 10 of us from Oasis College of Higher Education took the long journey (it really was long – flight delays made it 36 hours!), to work in a number of schools and community projects across the region. We saw many incredible sights, where children would sing joyfully with hope in the face of poverty, and the infamous traffic, which is a fascinating mosaic of mayhem.  We also saw many disturbing things, from malnourished babies to ‘homes’ for families of ten with no roof or front door. But the thing that struck me the most profoundly on both visits, is the gender roles of men and women in Ugandan society, particularly in the more rural communities and the consequences that this stark division has on Ugandan society.

Women are the labourers! Kampala’s streets are filled with physically strong women, carrying water, grown produce and livestock, often with more than one child on their back. Their hands and feet are rough from tough manual labour, walking for miles to access food for their families. Due to the devastating impact of HIV, they are often parenting alone, looking after eight or more children in devastating poverty. The Oasis Kawempe Project we visited is seeking to help women develop business skills, so that they could work from home to look after their children. They were really proud of this new and innovative way of working, which kept them close to home. However, candle making and necklace making often did not bring in enough money for them to feed their large families. I will never forget the warm embrace given to me, as a lady said I was a blessing from God, having given her my last two cereal bars that were at the bottom of my handbag. This would be a whole meal for her and her six children.

Mentally, the women are tough. Talking to them about their lives they continually point to God who has provided for them. They are not weak because of Him. They don’t cry, in fact they show very little emotion. They are resilient, and have ambition for their children to always achieve more than what they have been able to. They are practically minded, and creative in the way that they use the little resources that they have. Those who are unable to afford to send their children to school, which is the majority, teach their children.  Designated ‘Auntie’s’ are confidents who teenage girls look to in their teenage years for mentors and role models figures. Women are faithful to one another. They are generous, kind, and ensure that those around them do not go without.

Men are on the outside. Familiar sights on the streets of Kampala are clusters of men sitting on the dusty edge of the road on motorbikes, doing nothing. They don’t talk to one another; show little emotion, they are simply ‘being’, staring into space. They are not present in the family home, and many drink heavily. They are not perceived to be role models, and have little to do with their children. Many do not stay in one area for long, as HIV causes them to run from their families having been banished from their communities. They are difficult to build relationships with, and in my communications with them, struggle with self-esteem and self worth.

This is disturbing. There is little to celebrate. Morale is low. This lack of partnership and clear division between the genders creates little understanding for the next generation of how to overcome challenges in Ugandan society – poverty, political corruption, mental and physical lack of health and family breakdown. It’s clear that education provides a way for children to understand the concept of positive relationships, and the importance of working well together with the opposite sex. Organisations like Fields of Life and Oasis Global are committed to providing pathways through education to empower men and women together to raise the next generation to be one that has hope and opportunity. One of the highlights of the last trip was facilitating a training session with a group of male and female teachers together, highlighting the ways in which they are able to build positive relationships with their students. What might seem obvious for many in a Western educated culture was groundbreaking for them.

There is much to be done. I, for one, am committed to seeing change from the ground upwards, to enable men and women to work better together, in partnership with one another. I have seen glimpses of this possibility. But I hope in decades to come that we will be able to celebrate Ugandan men and women in partnership and equal status working positively together for the benefit of their children, their relationships, communities, and society.

Ali Simpson is Partnership Manager and Senior Fieldwork Tutor at Oasis College of Higher Education, London and Secretary for the Sophia Network. She is passionate about seeing potential released in people, loves travelling, asking questions, and is getting married in 2014

 

Dear David: It is time for No More Page 3

Our friends at The Girls' Brigade England & Wales (GBEW) have been empowering its 18-30s members to with and for their generation on issues that matter to them. A recent GBEW online survey demonstarted that 97.5 per cent of survey participants believed it was time for David Dinsmore, the editor of The Sun, to ditch Page 3. Following this, a number of GB's 18-30s Esther Generation decided to share their stories with David in the hope of transforming futures on the International Day of the Girl. They also created some alternative Page 3s with women who deserve to be celebrated for achievements and character, not just their 'looks.' 

Dr Claire Rush, GB's Participation & Advocacy Co-ordinator, says 'It was fantastic to see GB 18-30s voices published on a number of different media outlets like the Baptist Times Online, The Guardian, The Metro, The Huffington Post and the Methodist Recorder. GB is passionate about equipping and empowering girls and women to advocate with and for their generation on issues of justice.'

The group received a limited response from The Sun but you can sign the No More Page 3 campaign as well here.

Here's their open letter to David Dinsmore.

Dear David,

We’re a group of women (aged 18 – 30) who are members of Girls’ Brigade England & Wales and we’re writing to ask you to remove the topless photos of women on Page 3 of The Sun. 120 years ago, Girls’ Brigade (GB) was created in Dublin by a pioneering woman, Margaret Lyttle, who wanted to see girls’ lives transformed from the inside out. In 2013, GB is a global Christian movement with members in 50 countries around the world and with just under 20,000 members in England & Wales.

Today is the UN’s International Day of the Girl; a day to celebrate the achievements of girls across the world, but also to highlight the persistent discrimination which half the world’s population endures simply because of their sex.  

It’s also a day for us to dream of a better future.

We dream of living in a culture where girls and women are not objectified – where a woman’s worth and value is not solely measured by her sexual attractiveness but instead acknowledges her gifting, personality and talents.

We dream of living in a world where young women know their real value and worth from the inside out; where they don’t see their bodies as projects to be worked on as they diet/pluck/cut/shave/wax/tan to fit an unrealistic and narrow male-centred stereotype of what is considered to be beautiful.

We dream of living in a society where a national newspaper, like The Sun, depicts men and women as equals and no longer feels the need to display porn on Page 3 in order to sell newspapers copies.

David, you could help make our dream become a reality.

Have you ever wondered how it feels to be a girl or a young woman in the UK? Perhaps not. We’d love to share with you our own stories; but it won’t be an easy read!

Research and statistics show that a generation of young women in the UK are gripped by a self-esteem crisis. As you probably know, the government-commissioned Sexualisation of Young People Review found: ‘Exposure to the sexualised female ideal is linked with lower self-esteem, negative moods and depression in young women and girls.’

More recently, criminal law expert Professor Dionne Taylor argued that her research demonstrated that hyper-sexualisation has damaged the confidence, education and employment of young women in the UK. Psychologist Steve Biddulph in his book Raising Girls argues that girls are more depressed and stressed than ever because of the image-conscious culture they’re surrounded by.

But don’t just take our word for it. Using an online survey, we asked GB members (of all ages) to explain how they felt The Sun’s Page 3 had affected them.  Around 70% of survey participants revealed that they believed Page 3, which you support and have allowed to continue since you became editor, has had a negative impact on their self-esteem. These are the GB members’ authentic voices:

• ‘Media images, especially Page 3, showing what girls “should” look like, make those who look “normal” feel inadequate.’
• ‘Page 3 provides girls of my age with the belief that they’re fat and not good enough and that they should change their bodies. It gives the impression that all that’s important about females is the shape of their bodies.’
• ‘Growing up, I believed that I wasn't normal like everybody else. I believed I wasn't skinny or pretty enough which led me to develop low self esteem. It wasn't until I found my identity in Christ and realised that the women portrayed in the media were all airbrushed and that the ones deemed ‘perfect’ enough were still not ‘perfect’ - and this idea of being ‘perfect’ was not true and overreacted.’
• ‘It makes some of my friends feel that this is the way they need to look to be attractive and to have a boyfriend.’

David, these are the voices of real girls and young women who feel that their self-worth is being manipulated by a corporate world. Over the summer, you have defended Page 3 as a profit-making decision. Can you honestly defend damaging so many girls’ self esteem as a business decision?

Over the last month, we asked GB members in England & Wales about The Sun’s Page 3; overwhelmingly 97.5% of survey recipients say it’s time for you to lay it to rest. David, it’s great that you have taken some small steps already (ditching the patronising ‘News In Briefs’) but we think you need to go the full whack. As young women ourselves, let us share why:

• Page 3 teaches us to be ‘living dolls’ - For too long we’ve had the media, consciously and unconsciously, telling us that we’re too fat, or not pretty enough or haven’t got big enough boobs. We think girls and women are AMAZING... for so many other reasons than how we look – don’t you, David?
• Page 3 is sexist and unjust – Women are more likely to be treated as sex objects in The Sun than men, but treating anyone, regardless of their gender, as an object is unjust. The creation of a culture which reduces women to a collection of body parts is sexist and misogynistic and exists to limit us. We feel Page 3 perpetuates the myth that men are superior to women, by presenting women as vulnerable, sexually available objects which exist for men's gratification. For example, only on rare occasions do you include any half-naked men in The Sun yet every day, women are portrayed with very little clothes on. Can you see the inequality of power in this David?
• Page 3 is patronising to our male friends – It suggests that men are only interested in current affairs if the news is printed next to semi-naked teenagers. We believe that men are capable of so much more then Page 3 suggests... don’t you, David?

We’re supporting the fantastic No More Page 3 Campaign because as young women, we’re increasingly concerned about the messages that Page 3 is communicating to our friends, family and communities. We don’t want to strive to be ‘living dolls’. We don’t want to feel pressure to conform to specific ideal of beauty. We don’t want to feel like our bodies are projects to be improved.

Instead we want to see women valued for who they are; not what they look like. We no longer want to be a self-hating generation. Instead, we have the hope of a new generation of girls emerging. A generation of young women who refuse to have their dreams and ambitions limited. A generation of young women who believe in themselves and recognise their true worth isn’t defined by their physical appearance.

In the past Page 3 has been justified as a ‘celebration’ of womanhood, but there are so many other aspects of femininity we’d love to see celebrated. We’d love to see men and women equally celebrated for their achievements, success and perseverance in overcoming difficult circumstances. In fact, we have suggestions about which women would look great on our alternative Page 3 – see attached. For example, equal rights campaigner Emily Davison who ‘exhibited determination and a strength of belief’ or Malala Yousafzai who ‘reminds us that all girls have the potential to change their world.’ And let’s not forget there are many ‘normal’ women across the UK doing incredible things every day like Mary Bucknell. Mary constantly helps people in her community – cleaning their houses and opening her home to strangers – and seeks no recognition for it.

Let's put Emily, Malala and Mary on Page 3 alongside other women whose worth lies not in their beauty, but their courage, their actions and their achievement. We hope of living in a culture which values people’s achievements, giftings and character over their physical appearance.

David, you really could help make our dream become a reality by making a decision to stop including topless photos of women on Page 3.

On the International Day of the Girl David, it’s time for you to reflect on the legacy that you’re leaving behind. It’s time to stop the objectification of women in the media and to start celebrating women for who they are and what they’ve achieved.

We appreciate you taking the time to read this letter. On behalf of boys, girls, women and men everywhere, we’d like to thank you in advance for saying ‘No More Page 3’.

In faith,

Charlotte (22 from Plymouth), Claire (30 from Didcot), Katie (21 from Barnsley), Lucy (18 from Epsom), Rachel (21 from Derbyshire) and Sarah (24 from Newport Pagnell) – members of The Girls’ Brigade England & Wales.

Transform Her Future #IDOG2013

Today is the second International Day of the Girl (supported by the United Nations). The focus of the day is raising awareness about the transforming power of girls' education. 

Many girls around the world are missing from school... simply because they are a girl.

Yet, research has shown that educating girls transforms families, communities and societies.

It has the power to break the cycle of poverty and transforms futures.

The hard facts...

What can I do?

1. PRAY - Pray for girls around the world. Pray for a more just society. Ask God to show you how you can play your part in His mission of restoration.

2. SPREAD THE WORD - Big change starts small. The first step toward success is simple: pass it on. We know that educating girls will change the world. The more people who share that message - through social networks, at the dinner table, in boardrooms, in rural villages - the more support we build. By spreading the word, you are changing minds. Share this blog post with your friends. Start the discussion.

3. HELP NGOs - There are a number of charities working to transform girls' lives. Plan has created the Because I am A Girl campaign (including a petition to make girls' education a worldwide governmental priority) and Girl Rising is a movement to see all girls educated. Sophia member Girls' Brigade England & Wales is a part of a GB Worldwide family - it is helping to transform lives in over 50 different countries (providing informal education in Tanzania, Kosova and Cambodia and many more countries).

Remember... global change starts with individual action.

Let's transform futures for all today.

In their own words; the power of education

 

Photos courtesy of Girl Rising.

What is justice?

Sharon Prior, the co-founder of Sophia Network, reflects on justice and how we might treat girls and young women justly around the world.

With the International Day of the Girl Child celebrated on 11 October 2013 it helps us to think about what justice for girls around the world would actually look like.

There are two Hebrew words in the Old Testament that mean ‘justice’. Mishpat and tzadeqa and these two words give different facets of what Justice means. Throughout the Bible it is clear that ‘justice’ is part of God’s character.

Mishpat means to treat people equitably. It is about acquitting or punishing every person on the merits of the case, regardless of race or social status. Anyone who does the same wrong should be given the same penalty. So it is about giving people the same punishment, care or provision that is due to them. It is used a lot to describe how widows, orphans, foreigners and the poor should be treated. The justness of society is judged by how they treat these groups of people. God protects, loves and defends those with the least power and we are encouraged to do the same. This is what it means to ‘act justly’.

The word ‘tzadeqah’ refers to a life of right relationships – this word is about ‘being just’ and is often translated as ‘righteousness’. This can be interpreted as meaning how we conduct ourselves from a moral perspective, but it actually means more than that. In the Bible, tzadeqah refers to day-to-day living in which a person conducts all relationships in family and society with fairness, generosity and equity. These two words tzadeqah and mishpat are often used together in the Bible.

‘Tzadeqah’ is about living in right relationship with God and with other people – it is sometimes called primary justice. Whereas ‘mishpat’ is more about what should happen when things are out of balance and people are not treated fairly – this is sometimes called rectifying justice. Of course, Jesus demonstrated both types of justice in his ministry.

In Luke 4:14 -21 Jesus launches His public ministry and In his first public speech he introduces the purpose of His coming and His mission in the world. As we read this passage we notice that His mission was all about caring for and helping those who were treated unfairly – the poor, the prisoners and the oppressed.

Many girls around the world are poor, prisoners to unscrupulous people who abuse them and oppressed by people who have power over them.

It could be argued that if ‘tzadeqah’ were demonstrated to girls around the world then we would not need ‘mishpat’.  So how can we take the true meaning of justice for God’s word and apply it to our daily lives? If we are going to change the world for the better for girls and young women then this needs to happen.

Questions for reflection:

• In what ways is your lifestyle encouraging a ‘tzadeqah’ type of justice?

• How can we help girls around the world to receive this type of justice?

• What could you do to help a rectifying type of justice be more evident in dealings with girls and women around the world?

Am I Beautiful? - Book Review

 This month Lizzie Telfer reviews Am I Beautiful? by Chine Mbubaegbu. Lizzie works in publishing at Scripture Union, is a writer and leads Creatively Empowering, a consultancy in youth participation.

What if we saw the world and all its beauty, through God’s eyes? Then how would we define it? Who sets the bar of beauty? Do we have to settle and agree to limited messages that seek to tell us, what beauty is?

Chine Mbubaegbu tackles these questions with her book, ‘Am I beautiful?’ She takes the reader through her own wrestling and self-discovery of ‘becoming’ Chine - beautiful vulnerability! In her sincere trust of the reader, she shares her most personal thoughts and experiences and offers the truth of God’s word to dispel the limited messages that seek to tell us, what beauty is.

Clearly messaged is the call to see beauty as a much more elusive and mysterious concept, rather than only the common social constructs of beauty. Chine reminds the reader of a higher beauty, of God the creator; who marks his image in each one of us and which transcends more than external displays. Beauty is holistic and therefore, not only physical. We see ourselves, through knowing more of God and how he sees us and therefore we can see others in the way that God sees them.

I was quite sceptical when I first came to read this book, as I thought it was going to lean towards the self-indulgent side (the title probably didn’t help). However, this is a book to liberate women in particular from whatever lies are holding them back from glowing with the image of Christ. What I admire is the way Chine has backed up her personal reflections with theological insights and encourages the reader to move forward into the truth that we are all beautiful because no one is exempt from being created in the image of God. Practical questions at the end of each chapter help this and are useful for the reader to ‘see’ with the mind of Christ.

Lastly, I applaud Chine for addressing how often our personal insecurities about who we are, affect how we sometimes treat and love others. She tackles issues of jealousy and competition, which can often occur when we don’t see ourselves as God sees us. Therefore, her book liberates in personal and communal ways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Interview with Chine Mbubaegbu, author of Am I Beautiful?

Chine, tell us about yourself...

I am a bit of a busybody. I’m a writer and journalist and my day job is Head of Media at the Evangelical Alliance. I am also a trustee of the Bible Society, the Christian Enquiry Agency and my church – New Community Church in southeast London. I really do not like peas.

What led you to write your new book Am I Beautiful?

I really wanted to write a book that would appeal to as many women as possible. The book had started out as a sort of Christian version of Caitlin Moran’s How To Be a Woman. But when I started to think in more depth about the issues that affect women, one thing I came back to time and time again was the idea of body image and beauty. As women, we think and talk about these things all the time: our hair, our weight, our diets, our clothes, and our make-up. And I realised that we as Christian women are not much different – although we hear that we’re made in the image of God and that He looks at the heart, many of us still feel inadequate because we live in a society which tells us that – no matter what – we’re not beautiful enough. Germaine Greer writes in her book The Whole Woman: “Every woman knows that regardless of all her achievements, she is a failure if she is not beautiful.” That’s so true and that’s why I wanted to write about this, thinking from a Christian perspective – in an honest and non patronising way – about how deeply we are affected by these ideas and how the beauty myth makes us question our value and our worth; when really we’re already beautiful regardless of what society says, but simply because we were made in the image of God who is the essence of all beauty.

How have you struggled with the question ‘Am I beautiful?’

A lot, and often! I’ve even written a book about it…  I tell a story of being five years old in reception class at primary school and first becoming aware of what I looked like – to sum it up – nothing like the Disney princesses I associated with beauty; and nothing like the other little girls in my class. That was the first time I consciously remember wondering whether or not I was beautiful and that’s where it all began for me – when I was just five years old. Then followed daily struggles with the mirror, with weight, with hair, with clothes; and a constant dissatisfaction with my body. Like most other women, I am bombarded daily with images of outstanding beautiful (that’s beautiful as in conforming to a very narrow and arbitrary standard of beautiful) women. For as long as I can remember, I have compared myself with these women and the women around me – my own friends, we all long to be considered beautiful.

 

Am I Beautiful is written in a very raw and authentic way. Did you find it difficult to reveal so much of yourself? How did you overcome it?

For me, this was the most difficult part about writing this book. My first draft had been a pretty solid journalistic affair; writing about other people’s experiences and struggles with beauty, throwing in a few psychological and anthropological studies and a few Bible verses. But my amazing editors Amy Boucher Pye and Claire Musters quite rightly said that I needed to tell my own story. As a journalist who is used to presenting only other people’s ideas and not letting any of my personality into your writing, this was quite a difficult and painful process. But once I got going, I let it all out! You’ll find in the book that I have made myself scarily vulnerable in the hopes that it might open up conversations and help other women to know that they’re not alone.

Many girls and women are crippled by insecurities over their personal appearance and constantly ask themselves ‘Am I beautiful?’ You recently wrote ‘Reading this book won’t change your life instantly…’ Can you explain what you mean by this?

This book very much begins the journey and attempts to get women opening up to themselves and each other about the struggles that we face. I realised that even though I have written this book, I am still bombarded with the same messages which tell me I’m inadequate; I still am not 100 per cent happy with what I see in the mirror; there are still issues that hold me back from being all that I can be. The book is not a magic pill, but it is a reminder that every day we have to choose to believe the truth about our beauty – that it comes from someplace other than the fashion magazines, that it is far more beautiful on the inside than on the outside. I hope that the girls and women who are crippled by insecurities over their personal appearance will read the book and make the decision to choose freedom from the need to constantly ask the question: Am I beautiful?

How would you answer the criticism that we can spend too long focusing on the area of self, appearance and who we are?

Oh, we absolutely spend too much time focusing on ourselves. I talk in the book about how our focus in all things must be on God and then our neighbour. If we fix our eyes on Him in whom all beauty is found, then we’re forced to take our eyes off ourselves. If we’re always thinking about how we can be salt and light and goodness in our local, national and global neighbourhoods, then we will think more about others and hopefully we change the world.

In what ways do you think the book relates to men as well as women?

I’ve been absolutely fascinated to read reviews from men who have read the book, because they read it differently. I’m hearing that by giving them an insight into just how big an issue the beauty and body image thing is for the women in their lives, it helps them better understand women. I think it also makes them grateful to be men!

Many of our Sophia members are parents with young children. Do you have any advice to parents on the issue of building self-worth in children?

Negative body image is increasingly becoming an issue for boys as well as girls, so my advice is to parents of children of both genders. It’s important to raise children to believe that their worth is not just in being cute or pretty, but that it lies in so many things. I’ve come across some lines of thought which say that parents shouldn’t tell their little girls that they are beautiful because they would therefore grow up thinking their worth is found in their appearance, but I think parents telling children they’re beautiful will help them combat all the negative images outside the home which tell them that they are not. So, tell them they’re beautiful, but also tell them that they’re smart, kind, generous, funny etc.

Am I Beautiful is your first book! What has been the biggest challenge of writing it? Do you have any advice for people who would like to publish a book?

I think the most difficult part was having other people critique: Every. Single. Word. That’s their job. So my advice would be to have a thick skin and to know that publishers only want the book to be the best that it can be. Advice would also be to choose a publisher that is right for you and your book, but most of all, write because you love it and keep writing. 

Chine Mbubaegbu is author of Am I Beautiful? You can follow her blog here and tweet her @ChineMbubaegbu.

Sophia Network Update - October 2013

I sit and write this update looking out of my office window over the Peak District; it is a real privilege to live in such a nice part of the country. As I type this I am thinking of the previous months when there has been snow, daffodils and sun! Today there is a beautiful, colourful scene of trees which are green, orange, red and brown; informing us that we are now into Autumn – my favourite season because of all the diversity of colour.

This month is a special month, because 11^th October is the International Day of the Girl. This was started last year and it is so important that we join with us around the world to celebrate girls and young women and to pray for those who do not have any justice in their lives.

So, we have some interesting articles for you this month:

• Devotion on justice to help us think through the purpose of The International Day of the Girl 
• A Q & A with Chine Mbubaegbu from the Evangelical Alliance, who has just written the book ‘Am I Beautiful’
• Lizzie Telfer has written a book review of ‘Am I Beautiful’ by Chine Mbubaegbu.

If you missed our (sold-out) equipping day with Kate Coleman earlier in the month, you can still be inspired and challenged by her talk. We have uploaded some quotes here in photo format here!

You might want to join with ‘Girl Up,’ an initiative by the United Nations Foundation. It will help you really get involved with helping girls around the world. You can find them here.

Don't forget to join our facebook community here or tweet us @sophianetwork. We love to hear from you!

So let’s all remember and celebrate girl children this month.

God bless

Sharon Prior

Co-Founder of Sophia Network

 

What's been in the news? (16/09 - 23/09/2013)

We regularly post interesting links to news article relating to gender issues on our facebook community... and they usually provoke some great discussion. We thought that we would share these articles with everyone on a weekly basis. We hope that it will be a good resource for you.

Disclaimer - linking does not imply endorsement of the content of the article or website in question.

When men and women share power 50/50 at work and at home, everybody's better off  (The Guardian).

The ugly, unfair truth about looking beautiful (The Telegraph).

Bono interview: There's a difference between cosying up to power and being close to power (The Guardian).

Dear Parents with young children in church  (Huffington Post).

The niqab debate: Is the veil the biggest issue we face in the UK? (The Guardian).

MSP urges shops to scrap skinny mannequins (The Scotsman).

France bans girls' beauty contests bid to stop hypersexualisation in children (The Daily Mail).

Should we care that smart women are not having children? (The Guardian Cif)

Where are the woman scientists and engineers? (The Guardian).

An interesting YouTube clip of children telling us what kind of world they want to grow up in.

And last but no means least:

Rev Pat Storey is the first Anglican female bishop (BBC news). 

Join our facebook community and share interesting stories together - let's provoke discussion and debate on gender equality.

 

Inspiration from the Sophia Network Equipping Event with Kate Coleman

Sophia Network Update - September 2013

I hope you have all had a great summer and enjoyed the gorgeous weather. I got back from camp a few weeks ago and now feel that I have won the battle of reading and replying to all the emails that mounted up.

September is a big month for Sophia Network as we have an exciting equipping event on Tuesday 10 September in Birmingham with Kate Coleman talking about ‘Developing and maintaining a God-given vision in our leadership’. This event will also include a very short Sophia Network AGM after lunch for 10 mins. If you haven’t booked, then please do as there are still a few places left – lunch is provided and the event is free, but we ask for a donation towards food. Book here now – we would love to see you!

We have some treats for you this month. As Sophia member Rachel Gardner’s new book – The Dating Dilemma - has just been published, we have decided to focus on dating and relationships on this month’s web update.

So with that in mind:

• Linda Savage has kindly reviewed the The Dating Dilemma written by Gardner and Adelope. (Find out how you can win a free copy here!)

• We have an interview with husband and wife team Ian and Lynn McKenzie who work as sex and relationship educators in a Pregnancy Resource Centre in Northern Ireland

• Sophia Speaks On… Singleness and the Church - we asked you (via our facebook community) to share your experience of singleness in the 21^st century Church and were overwhelmed with your response; good to read even if you are married!

• A great devotion by Nate Pyle called ‘Truth and Grace’; our relationships should always be based on a balance of truth and grace.

And don’t forget to read the following articles which were uploaded during August:

• Blood, Sweat, Tears and Laughs: A round-up of Edinburgh Fringe Festival Theatre
• Not the only feminist in the room: Reflections from the UK Feminista Summer School
• Future Q & A with Professor Kate Cooper (author of Band of Angels: The Forgotten World of Early Christian Women): What do you want to ask her?

We hope you enjoy the update this month and we look forward to seeing many of you on Tuesday 10 September in Birmingham.

God bless

Sharon 

Co-founder of the Sophia Network

Interview with Lynn and Ian McKenzie, sex and relationship educators at the Pregnancy Resource Centre (NI)

Sex and relationship educators, Lynn and Ian McKenzie, work for a Pregnancy Resource Centre in Northern Ireland. From their own experiences, they share their thoughts on sex education in the Church, Miley Cyrus, working together as a husband & wife team… and much, much more!

Lynn and Ian, tell us a bit about yourself and your journey?

Ian - I’m very fortunate to have found a vocation that not only allows me to engage and express my passions for young people, but one that also continually challenges me as a person. It’s been somewhat of an unforeseen profession and especially the area of sexual health isn’t one I would have picked off the shelf initially. That being said I have come to develop a passion for sexual health and the issues and challenges it raises. I am married to Lynn and we have four great kids, two teenagers and two toddlers. We are both very involved in our local community and church and really have a passion and vision to see this community transformed and have a restored sense of hope.

Lynn - Similarly to Ian I hadn’t expected to be in this line of work and love it as much as I do! I began the work as a volunteer and through various position changes at The Pregnancy Resource Centre I ended up as the Youth and School’s worker which then led me to the Coordinator’s role a few years later. This was a position I didn’t really want at the time but the organisation needed someone to fill the role and as the only other paid staff member I felt obliged to take the role! After much prayer I took the role and haven’t looked back. I am passionate about seeing women freed from whatever the past has held over them be it abortion, sexual regrets or negative relationship choices – I believe every one can have a more positive future once they recognize their worth and begin to live lives of value. I feel my work at The Pregnancy Resource Centre compliments the involvement and heart I have for Church and the community we serve. Isaiah 58 is what has guided me through life since a teenager and so wherever I find the need for restoration or service I prefer to give myself to that as much as I can. For now, the four kids take most of that service!

Give us a flavour of the work do you do as part of the Pregnancy Resource Centre in Carrickfergus?

Ian - My role as Youth & Schools Coordinator at The Pregnancy Resource Centre is one that has grown and developed over the years that I have been involved. Its main purpose is to engage and educate local young people in the areas of relationship, sexual health and personal development and to connect them with support services when necessary - a daunting task at first, and one that I really had to find my feet in. We run a range of topic specific programmes in secondary schools and youth organisations to raise awareness; highlight key issues and help break down the barriers for young people to positively develop themselves.

I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to evolve my own position in the work when necessary, and feel it’s important to keep pushing my role to support the young people in my community.

Lynn - My role as Coordinator covers many areas from admin, sourcing funding; liaising with local health professionals and community workers as well as training volunteers to work in our crisis pregnancy drop in. I love the variety and the uncertainty of what the day might bring. At The Pregnancy Resource Centre we offer free services, which include: pregnancy testing, crisis pregnancy support, miscarriage support, post abortion support, sexual health advice and parenting support. Most of these are run through the drop in on a casual basis with clients calling into the Centre, as they need. With the post abortion work we run a more structured support programme called The Journey, this can take up to four months depending on the client’s experience. All of our drop-in services are free and confidential. I also run some community based programmes such as The Princess Diaries – a teen mums development programme. This is a programme which I wrote to specifically target teen mums who are stuck in the limbo of being a teenager and a parent with the aim of developing the individual girl’s self esteem and worth and challenging her choices and beliefs in order to help her set and achieve goals for her future.

In terms of your work, tell us your most encouraging and uplifting experience...

Ian - When you have a real passion for a specific work you begin to develop a sense of vision as to where the work can go and whom it can impact. Seeing this vision realised in local schools and engaging local young people is a great feeling – there’s nothing like meeting a young person several years after you first worked with them and seeing their own development and trusting you had a part in that somehow. Living where we do often causes us to be in close proximity to clients or people who have attended our programmes, while we would never approach a client outside of the drop in (in order to maintain confidentiality) it gives us the opportunity to see how a person is doing and to keep in contact with those who attend programmes to offer continual support.

The Government-backed Bailey Review stated that we exist in a world wallpapered with sexualised images. How has this affected the young men and women that you come in contact with? 

Lynn - with young women they feel the pressure to dress and act in certain ways sexually as what they see is perceived to be the norm – if you want a guy to fancy you, you have to offer him something to fancy. Most girls don’t see this as a pressure, they have grown up in a society that encourages sexual freedom and expression, but doesn’t connect the freedom it professes actually is a pressure and suppression to female individuality and personality. Girls feel like freaks or ugly if they don’t fit the beauty mould or feel they have to be sexually active in order to keep a boy’s interest. For many a loving and mutually respectful relationship is a fairy tale and they sadly don’t see themselves as the leading lady in their own lives.

Ian - working consistently with young men (and still considering myself a relatively young man too!) you only have to have surface conversations with your average group of 16 year old males to discover how their personal values and beliefs have been shaped by media, culture and social expectations. Young men learn from those men around them – be it fathers, brothers, friends they’re around or the musicians, sport stars and porn stars they watch. It’s difficult for anyone to break away from the perceived mould and young men especially lack the role models first hand that can show them how.

15 years ago, the majority of young people did not have a personal mobile phone. A recent news report states that children as young as 5 have access to a mobile. How has digital technology (mobile phones, Skype, facebook) changed the landscape of teenage relationships?

Lynn - I feel the facelessness of the Internet makes a young person think they can get away with things they wouldn’t normally say/watch/interact with. Young people don’t have the same ability to communicate face to face as they do with buttons and with a teenager’s nature being more open to immature disagreements it can be easy to read into what some one has said and make untrue assumptions. This can add a lot of emotional pressure onto a person’s life and can consume their thoughts and focus that could be used elsewhere.

Ian - It’s always easier to say something via a text message. Technology has countless positives in terms of connectivity and social interaction and at the same time opens up countless risks and opportunities for abuse. Young people can now easily connect with people they would otherwise never come into contact with.

Pop star Miley Cyrus has recently come under a lot of heat for her sexualised performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. From your experience, do you really think celebrities have an impact on relationships between young people? If so, how?

Ian - I find young people will criticize and ridicule displays like that of Miley Cyrus, along with the majority of the population – my biggest concern with celebrities is that they create for young people an unrealistic and often unattainable lifestyle and in the process normalize a lot of things. The danger is that young people then find it difficult to determine the difference between unrealistic celebrity choices and the real-life choices right in front of them.

Lynn - I agree with Ian, young people look at celebrities as if they are something to aim for and think if they dress and act like a pop star then they will become them and have their lavish lifestyle. Obviously this isn’t true! Young people don’t know or understand the real lives of celebrities, the hard times and the incredible pressure to keep an image up. Miley Cyrus has been a star for so long and it has left her with a warped sense of how to fit in and be admired publicly, so we see a talented and attractive girl belittling herself in the name of the power of sexual expression? I don’t think young girls would have unprotected sex in graveyards or perform sex acts on boys in cricket pitches if they believed a good relationship is about mutual respect and value. The media, especially music videos suggests that women are sexual objects and sex is a casual interaction with no lasting meaning.

You both have a strong faith, which underpins your work in the Pregnancy Resource Centre, yet you are required to work with secular partners. How difficult is this?

Hopefully our faith is the driving force for what we do – our compassion and desire to bring hope to people flows from, we believe, the heart of God. Our organisation itself is underpinned by a Christian ethos and this impacts our values and directs a lot of our background decisions. At the ground level we don’t feel a pressure either way to directly express our beliefs to others, as we understand the negative feelings others have towards Christians and the risk of judgment they fear from the Church. We don’t hide our faith and the secular partners we work with know that we both are Christians and the organisation itself is faith based – we hope we have helped to dispel and disperse fears or misconceptions people may have about the Church and Christianity through our care and genuine attitude to those we work with.

You do important work educating young people about contraception, STIs and emotional health but sex sadly remains a taboo subject in some church communities. Church sex education can simply be 'don't have sex before marriage.' What would your wake up call to the church be? How can we move beyond 'dos and don'ts'?

This is a subject that comes up in conversation between us personally – the thought of doing or not doing something because the Bible says so. We believe and live our lives by the Bible, but what we value most is why God says those things.

So when it comes to sex and relationships we love that God wants us to love each other and express that through sexual intercourse. The thought that a person can be so intimate and vulnerable with another person that they give themselves sexually to them is the greatest reason why God said sex is for marriage because sex is the marriage. Yes, there are vows and covenants to make publicly and before God of how we should treat each other in marriage but sex is the deal sealer, it’s the giving and receiving, the honouring and respecting. When one person’s aim is to satisfy another and the other person has the same aim then there is no greater place of trust and bonding.

Sex education in Churches should be the best sex education because we can talk about how God the creator gave us sex and how He gave us ways to protect the marriage and sexual relationship. We can link sex to relationships and using Jesus, the greatest giver we can read about and know personally, as the example of how to lay one’s life down for another – our sex education in churches should be mind blowing and freeing!

As for a wake up call to the churches about sex education, all we can say is – watch the Miley Cyrus VMAs video – you have to make your sex education as appealing as that – because that’s what young people have all been watching and learning from.

Many of our Sophia members are parents. What would be your best advice to parents wanting to chat to their children about dating, sex and healthy relationships?

Lynn - Being a good role model at home is a great way of setting your kids up to make good choices for themselves. Often this isn’t easy. I went through a marriage break up when my eldest children were 3 and 5 years old and decided to always be open and honest with them about what had happened. When they were young they didn’t need to know the in’s and out’s but as they got older we have talked about how the marriage broke down, the blame and faults on both sides and about forgiveness and honesty. You don’t need to have a perfect marriage to show your kids how to love and trust well or how to make good decisions.

When Ian and I got together my kids were older and I had to set a good example of how to behave in a relationship – it was really hard! We have fights and fallouts the same as everyone else, but one of the things that Ian has taught me most is how to say sorry. He would always have said sorry first after an argument and I was always the one to never admit being wrong. But Ian saying sorry broke that barrier down for me, he made it acceptable to say rather than be the ‘loser’ who said it first. I asked him why he always said sorry even when I was wrong and he said that the fact he loved me made him say it because he knew that I loved him too and that drove him to want to forgive me and if sorry was the first step then he would take it. He chose to believe my love for him meant that I didn’t want to hurt him. I have found since then that I can say sorry so much easier and have always apologised to my kids when I needed to. One of them in particular is great now at apologising genuinely when they mess up and I know that has come from example. Another little bit of advice I would give is to use easy opportunities to teach, for example in the car on the way home from school – less intrusive for a child not to have to look a parent in the eye when talking about sex or embarrassing things! Or when a topic comes up on TV – just come out and ask your child what they think about that. Young people are used to talking about the subjects we find embarrassing, they just don’t start the conversations with parents very often – but that’s out job as parents to do.

Ian - As parents we try our best to inform and support our children – dating, sex and relationships are never easy topics to bring up for the first time – but once you start those conversations they are much easier to go back to when needed. Don’t shy away from them, but listen to your children and find the best way to support them. The best advice and at the same time, most challenging is ‘be a good role model for them in your own decision making and relationship choices’.

You are a husband and wife team inside and outside the home. How do you find this affects the dynamic of your relationship?

At times it makes our relationship stronger and times more strained. Work is never 9-5 and often we are lying in bed chatting about ideas or problems in work. It’s not easy to record those on a time sheet or to differentiate chitchat from planning meetings at midnight. We both love our work and feel ‘called’ to it so enjoy the challenges it brings and also the flexibility it gives us as family. We both work part time for The Pregnancy Resource Centre and for our church and we both take care of the kids. Often we exchange the car keys for the kids and there are days when we pass each other in and out and only really meet up at bedtime or morning even if it’s been a late meeting. Those times are harder and we do miss each other, we love bouncing ideas and dreams off each other so when we don’t see each other as much it does feel like your partner is missing. We like being partners in life; it works for us and we hope our family. Neither of us could imagine doing anything differently, even in the hard times; we just cling closer.

Please keep the important work that Lynn and Ian are doing at The Pregnancy Resource Centre in Carrickfergus (NI) in your prayers.